


The one in which Alexander has his own Epic speech about love - or how Catarina Loss saves the Day!

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Has Feelings, Alec has enough, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Break Up, Epic Speeches, Fluff, Light Angst, Makeup, Malec Week, alec is such an sweetheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 05:13:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19968586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Post S3 E18"If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have whatever the hell they want no matter how much it destroys you, its love!"Or the one where Catarina Loss confronts Alec about the breakup and Alec has finally Enough and has his own Epic speech about Love.Too bad that Magnus hears it.





	The one in which Alexander has his own Epic speech about love - or how Catarina Loss saves the Day!

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for mild swearing/language also light angst. Sadish/fix it
> 
> also i would choose for Alec's feelings "SYML Fear of the water" ... altrough i heard "the funeral" by "Band of Horses" while rereading it. it fits somehow.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood! What have you done?" Catarina Loss practically hissed at the Shadowhunter. Alec stood still, almost faltered in his tracks. "What .. are you talking about?" He asked in a firm voice. Several people where looking at him now and he felt suddenly the urge to flee. He coudn't. He was the Head of the goddamn Institute. "I am talking about you - breaking Magnus Heart." Catarina hisses and Alec sees Isabelle moving to stand between them, to shield him from this conversation. "Don't, Izzy." He said and moved a hand to stop her. Then he found the courage to look at Catarina's Face wich was twisted in fury. "My Office." He chokes out.

They where there in a second. So soon that Alec coudn't even find words or an Explanation. He realized this as he closed the Door firmly behind them and made sure no one could hear them. Then he sat down at his Desk and gestured Catarina to sit. "So ... how is Magnus?" He said with an slight trembling in his voice. He wasn't ready for this. He clutched at the Desk until his Knuckels where white. Catarina let out a huff of disblef. "How do you think he is? Magnus is completly devastated." Alec couldn't bear it and looked away from her. "It is better this way." He forced the words out. "Is he ... has he his Magic back?" He asked and still looked away. "Yes and his Apartment. But still he feels horrible." He forced himself to look into her Eyes and her Face seemed to soften. "He will recover." Alec said. He tried to remind himself of that each time when he woke up and missed Magnus at his side. His throat constricted painfully and he grabbed for a glass of Water. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked and still saw the disblef at the Warlocks face. "I dont want a Drink, i want a explanation." She repeaded herself and her Face seemed to soften.

"I can see that you still love him. It's written over your Face. Why did you something like this, something that makes you both miserable?" Alec gulped down the water and prayed to the Angels that he'd survive this conversation. "Catarina. He's Immortal. I am not." He said in a firm voice and tried to find an believable excuse to break the heart of the only Man he ever truly loved. "You've known that before." Catarina said firmly. Alec lowered his voice and looked away. "I guess i hadn't realized until a few weeks ago what it truly means to come from different worlds. It is better for us this way and he can find somebody else who spends all Eternity with him." He flinched visibly at the very thought. He looked at his Hands and the shook badly. He realized this to late. Alec knew that he probably was the worlds' worst Liar and felt Catarina moving her Hands at top of his. She didn't buy it. 

"You still love him. There must be an other reason for this." Alec let out a shaky breath. There was no point of lying. Not anymore. All feelings he had surpressed for the past few Days bubbled to the surface and he couldn't stop it. "I made a deal with Asmodeus" He said and felt Tears at the corner of his Eyes. "He gave Magnus his Magic back but I - I had to break up with him.You can never tell him." he added quickly. Catarina let out a shocked breath and her eyes widened. "You did what? Why? Magnus loves you more than his Powers." Alec shuddered and wrenched his Hand away from hers. "He dosen't. He needs his Magic. He was lost without his Powers." Alec remembered how Magnus had broken down not tree Days ago, how they both had crashed to the ground and how Alec had hugged him and realized with awful acceptance that this was something he couldn't fix. _"All i ever wanted for you is to be happy!"_ he had said. _"Well im not!"_ Magnus shot back. Alec knew he couldn't fix this, he wasn't enough for Magnus to be whole. Catarina had a faint shimmering of Tears in her Eyes. "He can recover from this. I know he will. It will hurt and he can hate me if he wants to but he'll be happy. Sometime." He finished and his voice cracked as Catarina reached for his Hand again. 

"Oh, you foolish young Nephilim" she said in a shooting voice. "How could you think a lifetime without love is something you'll recover from? You still love him, isn't that worth fighting for?" Alec flinched and felt anger rising up in his blood. How dared this Woman to come into his Home and start accusting him in _all ways that hurt?_ "Yes i love him and that's the point! When you search for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have whatever the hell they want no matter how much it destroys you, its love! And when you love someone y-you just don't stop. Ever. Even if it breaks you, even if you make sacrifices for them you don't stop - for their shake." He let out a sob and wondered when he had started crying. "It is worth it. Magnus will be happy. And i would have cutten my veins open if i'd somehow bleed out his Magic back like this. If he'd been whole again and be _happy_. Even if it hurts like hell, he'll be happy. And suffering for it is fucking worth it ." He looked up and saw nothing but sympathy on Catarinas Face which was a little odd since there still shimmered grief in her Eyes. Then the Door burst open and they both jumped. Alec shot upright and felt like he couldn't breathe and his Heart surley missed a beat.

There - standing in the Doorframe - was Magnus Bane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos for the dramatic entrance ♡ ~ im checking up 1 hour later and whaaat? thanks for the support guys! seriously!!!

**Author's Note:**

> The speech was slightly inspired by Ted Moseby. I admit it!
> 
> Im obsessed with Malec and don't know where all these ficts come from lately. i heard "Saturn" from sleeping at last with an awesome Malec vid. Seriously, Youtube' it!


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